This weekend is a special weekend. This weekend, I hit 120 days sober. That’s 4 whole massive months since a drop of alcohol passed my lips. It’s 120 nights of proper sleep and 120 mornings of not feeling like death.

When I decided to go Sober For 2017, I read several articles which told me to break down soberdom into small chunks. Apparently, it is easier to think of a small amount of time off the sauce rather than forever. It was suggested to go for 30 days, then 60, then 90, then the big 120 days. It seemed daunting. I mean, I’ve done ‘dry January’ and I’ve done ‘I won’t drink in the week’ but 120 days? Wow, that seemed immense and almost a little out of reach. And yet here I am, almost there. Little old party animal, binge drinker extraordinaire, me. Sober, for 4 months.

I’ve been thinking of how much I’ve learnt since Sauvignon and I said our not so sweet goodbyes. I’ve learnt that Sauvignon made me fat & emotional, gave me false hope & confidence and was ruining my life. 

I’ve learnt that I wasn’t as alone as I thought when I was rattling around my flat on a Friday night drinking, smoking, drunk-texting idiots & crying; that actually, there’s a whole army of us out there determined to exterminate Sauvignon and its mates forever.

I’ve learnt that despite Sauvignon thinking it had a massive hold on me, I have, with sheer determination, escaped its clutches and as a result found myself again. I’ve learnt that without Sauvignon, the desire to smoke has also disappeared and I’ve successfully dumped them both.

I’ve learnt that a life without hangovers is incredible. I’m more organised than ever, massively productive and have obviously rediscovered my love of writing. The blog has literally been a life saver, both the act of writing and the overwhelming support from my followers. I have made hundreds of friends, found websites I never knew existed, watched video blogs of people telling their story & read hundreds of comments of people just like me. I’m in touch with people all over the world; the struggle just as real in New Zealand as it is in London. 

I have learnt about many alcohol free products, I’ve gone organic with all my skin products. I buy hemp and sprinkle it on my breakfast (I can’t believe I’m actually writing this). I go to bed later and I wake up early, refreshed, my sleep not disrupted by poison. I eat when I’m hungry; I don’t gorge as I did when I was hungover, craving badness. I take joy in a long walk by the sea rather than hiding under my duvet, afraid to leave the house. 

I’ve learnt that I can be happy without a drink in my hand; that actually all the alcohol did was (deceptively) mask other issues I had such as my toxic relationship & my weight problem. And that now Sauvignon is gone, the other issues are rapidly disappearing too. 

So now I soldier onwards towards 6 months. 180 days. Halfway. Seems almost unreal. But for now, I’m gonna celebrate this milestone with an Elderflower and a muller light. Not so rock & roll but at least I’m not crying .. or texting .. 

#day118

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